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October 8, 2022

Internet commenters offered stern advice to one woman who left her boyfriend and his children high and dry at a local restaurant.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Theotrics536 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she has been forced to pay for every meal since she began dating the 36-year-old and detailed the heated aftermath of her decision to stop.

Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for getting up and walking out of the diner when my boyfriend said that he forgot his credit card?” the post has received more than 17,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments in the last day.

“[My boyfriend] has two little children who love going out to eat,” OP began. “We go out once a week and each time he happens to forget his credit card to make a payment.”

Continuing to explain that she has always covered the tab to ensure the children were fed, the original poster said her boyfriend’s feigned forgetfulness has caused her financial issues for the last two months.

The original poster also said that during their most recent meal out, her boyfriend was unable to pay yet again, despite multiple reminders to bring his credit card to the restaurant.

“We agreed to go out together with the kids and I even sent him a text reminding him to not forget his credit card,” OP wrote. “He laughed it off.

“Before we started eating I mentioned his credit card…he looked at me shocked and then started searching his pockets,” OP continued. “He then looked at me in a sorry way and…asked me to foot the bill ‘just this time.’

“The food was on the table but…I told him I wouldn’t be paying ‘this time AGAIN’ and to enjoy dinner with his kids. Then I walked out,” OP added. “He called me later and absolutely lost it on me…saying things like how he needs to take a look at how I’m treating the kids specifically and how I was willing to let them go hungry with my selfishness.”

Money is the number-one topic that couples argue about.

From disagreements about specific purchases or financial decisions, to general differences in attitudes towards it, money is capable of tearing relationships apart and is cited as at least one deciding factor in nearly 40 percent of divorces in the United States, according to Insider.

Even for couples who argue infrequently, or haven’t experienced explicit disagreements over money, financial infidelity is common among couples—especially younger ones.

Earlier this year, a survey conducted by revealed that 32 percent of U.S. adults who are in a relationship have secretly spent more money than their partner would approve of, and that 15 percent of adults hold secret debt.

The same survey also revealed that while just 19 percent of baby boomers admitted to financial infidelity, 48 percent of millennials and 61 percent of members of Generation Z were open about lying to a romantic partner about financial decisions.

And financial infidelity, big or small, can have a devastating impact on otherwise healthy relationships.

“It’s corrosive,” Thomas Faupl, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek. “It really can break trust…because you’re fundamentally keeping secrets, our outright lying.”

Although financial infidelity is often associated with married couples and other long term relationships, new partners are not immune to its effects, even when the stakes are lower, and arguments over dinner bills take the place of concealed debts.

“Not everything is transparent with couples around money,” Faupl said. “Some people tend to be givers and some people tend to be takers in relationships.

“Some people have bleeding hearts and they’re very generous with people around money, and that might not be the wisest thing to do,” Faupl continued. “Not if it’s happening as a pattern.”

Dejected woman sitting with child in restaurant.
Dejected woman sitting with boyfriend’s child in restaurant. Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum were infuriated after one woman revealed why she has paid for every meal out with her boyfriend and his two children.
nicoletaionescu/iStock / Getty Images Plus

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors echoed this sentiment, and pointed to the explicit pattern described by the original poster as reason to reevaluate her relationship.

“He has been manipulating you weekly for 9 months to pay for dinner for him and his kids,” Redditor u/liligram wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 33,000 upvotes. “[Not the a**hole] but take a look at your relationship, as he is using you.”

“He’s using you sweetheart,” Redditor u/ThruRoseColoredGlasses added, receiving more than 7,500 upvotes. “You’re not his [girlfriend], you’re a meal ticket. Curb him.”

Redditor u/Andrew5329, whose comment has received more than 4,000 upvotes, offered a similar response.

“Once is an accident, twice is coincidence, three makes a pattern,” they wrote. “36 times means you’re [not the a**hole] but you do need a reality check about this relationship.”

“You know he didn’t ‘forget,'” Redditor u/emccm commented, receiving more than 1,000 upvotes. “He knows he didn’t forget, and every single reader of this post knows he didn’t forget.”

“Your [boyfriend] didn’t forget,” Redditor u/ScottPocketMusic chimed in. “He left it on purpose.”

Newsweek reached out to u/Theotrics536 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Do you have a similar monetary dilemma? Let us know via We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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