Members of a popular internet forum were perturbed after one woman revealed how a spat over breakfast food left her in-laws looking for a new place to stay.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/NotACheforServer (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she went back-and-forth with her sister-in-law’s husband over guest etiquette until his repeated demands for waffles caused tensions to boil over.
Titled, “[Am I the a**hole] for not making him what he wants?” the post has received nearly 9,000 votes and more than 1,000 comments in the last 11 hours.
Writing that her in-laws arrived at her house last night, the original poster said that from the moment they showed up, she was taken aback by her sister-in-law’s husband and his brazen behavior, but played it off as misguided attempts at humor.
“As we were helping them get their stuff into the guest room, her husband, who I’ve met like three times, said ‘waffles for breakfast would be great,'” OP wrote. “I assumed it was a joke that didn’t land well.”
“We don’t have a waffle iron anyway,” OP added.
The next morning, however, the original poster said she quickly realized that her brother-in-law’s demands were no joke, and that he fully expected to be waited on for the duration of his stay.
“I made the usual eggs, beans and toast for breakfast,” OP wrote. “When [sister-in-law] and her husband came in he frowned and asked where the waffles were.”
“I was a touch annoyed and said this isn’t a restaurant,” OP continued. “He said they are guests and their needs should be taken into account. Then he said he was allergic to beans.”
“I asked why he didn’t tell me he was allergic to beans. He said he told me he wanted waffles and the reason why shouldn’t matter because they are guests,” OP added. “[Then] my husband jumped in and said eat eggs and toast or go get breakfast elsewhere [and] he left with [sister-in-law].”
Etiquette is one of the most hotly debated topics on the internet, and in real life.
For every setting, there is proper etiquette. And as settings change and factors are introduced and removed, expected etiquette is supposed to be just as fluid, adapting quickly with a constant emphasis on politeness.
But at its core, etiquette is a series of situational, loosely agreed upon codes of conduct that some people follow strictly—and others completely disregard.
Following two years of travel restrictions and fear of spreading the coronavirus, both hosts and house guests might be rusty when it comes to hospitality.
Other house guests might just be entitled and demanding.
While The Emily Post Institute, a century-old authority on etiquette, suggests guests employ common courtesies like cleaning up and offering to help when needed, lifestyle website The Spruce maintains that there is a much longer list of things guests shouldn’t do when visiting someone else’s home.
Along with obvious faux pas like creating clutter or smoking inside, The Spruce reports that food can become especially contentious between house guests and their hosts.
“If you visit someone’s home, be as gracious as possible during all the events they plan for you—including meals,” The Spruce writer Debby Mayne asserts. “Never turn your nose up at any food. If you don’t care for it, be discreet.”
In her viral Reddit post, the original poster was clear that her sister-in-law’s husband was the exact opposite of discreet about his breakfast, and demanded a dish that requires extra equipment and ingredients to prepare.
Throughout the viral post’s comment section, Redditors clamored over this display of entitlement and assured the original poster both she and her husband were justified for pushing back against it.
“[Not the a**hole],” Redditor u/maaya_the_bee commented, receiving more than 6,000 upvotes. “What universe does this person live in where he thinks this is normal at all?”
“Hospitality is one thing but guests are also expected to be polite and gracious,” they continued. “I cannot imagine demanding a specific meal from a host that made [zero] indication that they would be making me specialized meals.”
Redditor u/Ellf13, whose comment has received more than 2,000 votes, echoed that sentiment.
“There’s a saying [that] guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days but your [sister-in-law’s] husband managed to stink after several minutes,” they wrote. “You’re not a hotel, nor a restaurant and if he had specific dietary needs…he should have communicated this in advance.”
“There is no rule of etiquette in the world [that] states your guests can treat you like a personal restaurant,” Redditor u/ghostofumich2005 chimed in, receiving more than 1,000 votes.
In the post’s top comment, which has received more than 15,000 votes, Redditor u/bluelaw2013 offered a tongue-in-cheek assessment of the original poster’s breakfast conundrum.
“Don’t waffle,” they wrote. “Sounds like he left with egg on his face.
“Be glad he’s toast,” they added.
Newsweek reached out to u/NotACheforServer for comment.
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